Like most people my life has been full of ups and downs. Childhood bullying, sexual assault, controlling relationships, divorce and the death of my dad are a few of the things I have found myself having to deal with on my life journey so far.
Nobody ever knows how life will turn out or how you deal with the storms that challenge our will, bravery and strength.
When my dad passed away on 11 September 2015 my world fell apart. I knew what it felt like to lose an auntie or an uncle but losing your dad is way beyond devastating. I am still struggling with it even to this day.
As my heart was falling to pieces I was having to move house and was going through a divorce at the same time. Family and friends really helped me through that time but my challenges continued to keep coming.
In December 2017 I ended my relationship with what I thought was going to be the woman I would spend the rest of my life with. Little did I know that she would end up being jealous and controlling almost as bad as my ex wife.
Time came and went and life just felt tough. Work was becoming harder. I saw lots of horrible information about serious sexual assaults, rape, violence, dishonesty to name a few.
This information brought back terrible memories from my childhood. I am now having nightmares and memories flooding back reminding me of the horrors I went through.
Whilst updating my LinkedIn profile I came across Madeleine Black and her book Unbroken. I read her post and realised that the book may help me. I have to say I was very reluctant to read it at first because of my own memories. All I can say is that I am glad I did!
Unbroken is Madeleine’s story of being raped numerous times throughout her childhood and young adult life until she met her husband. She explains how her body and mind coped with the trauma and how she survived and came out the other side being able to find her voice and become the brave woman she is today.
Madeleine’s strength is inspiring….. her bravery second to none. She has given me the strength to write down what happened to me and to contact Rape Crisis to get the support I know I need. She has been there for me when I needed to talk because I was so angry and upset.
She has given me the strength to confront my demons head on so that I can get my life back again.
Madeleine I thank you for helping me start my journey to find my voice. You are my inspiration!