Wow I have been seeing a therapist at Rape Crisis now for nearly 4 months. I can’t believe it has been so long. Once a week (bar a few) for 4 months!
It has gone so quick but at the moment I feel like I still have a long way to go. I do feel worse but that is in no way a reflection of the therapy. I was told by a number of people that I may get worse before better. I just didn’t think it would happen to me. Guess what, I was wrong.
Feeling worse, having nightmares, memories returning is all part of my healing. I know that but struggle to accept it sometimes. In fact I know a lot of things like…
• None of it was my fault
• I am not weak
• I am not stupid
• I am not a victim, I am a survivor
I know these things because I am not stupid BUT I struggle to accept or feel these things.
From the moment I was first sexually assaulted I lost my power. Actually let me rephrase that, my power was taken away.
I choose to fight to get it back. I WILL get it back. This is my life and I choose to live it the way I want to.
I may have bad days but I will come back fighting. They will not win!
My life is worth more than that.